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"80% Of Men Can't Get Sex!" - The Dangers Of Dating Apps, Porn & Masturbation | William Costello
The Hidden Crisis: Exploring Sexlessness, Dating Apps, and Modern Relationships with William Costello
In this insightful podcast episode, host Tom Bilyeu interviews William Costello, a researcher under Dr. David Buss at the University of Texas at Austin, delving into the modern crisis of sexlessness among young men, the impact of dating apps, and the broader implications for relationships in the digital age.
Core Concepts and Philosophies
Costello highlights a significant increase in sexlessness among young men, noting a tripling of the rate in the decade leading up to 2018. This phenomenon is partly attributed to the rise of digital distractions like pornography and dating apps, which can alter relationship dynamics and reduce real-life interactions. Additionally, the podcast explores the concept of the "mating crisis," as articulated by Dr. David Buss, which suggests a mismatch between women's socio-economic advancements and their evolved preferences for equal or higher status mates.
Practical Strategies and Advice
- Enhance Social Skills: Young men are encouraged to develop their social and communication skills to better navigate real-life relationships.
- Balance Online and Offline Interactions: Moderating the use of dating apps and focusing on face-to-face interactions can help build more meaningful connections.
- Addressing Hypergamy: Recognize and adapt to the changing dynamics where women increasingly prioritize socio-economic equality in their partners.
- Support Men's Aspirations: Encourage young men to pursue higher education and career advancements to match the socio-economic strides made by women.
Supporting Evidence
Costello cites various studies, including a Washington Post survey and Pew Research, showing trends in sexlessness and relationship dynamics. Dr. David Buss's essay on the mating crisis among educated women is also referenced to explain the socio-economic shifts impacting relationships.
Personal Application
Costello discusses his personal observations and experiences in the context of modern dating, emphasizing the importance of adapting to new relationship dynamics. He shares insights from his academic background and real-world interactions, providing a practical perspective on navigating today's dating landscape.
Recommendations for Tools and Techniques
- Limiting Screen Time: Use apps and tools to monitor and limit time spent on dating apps and other digital distractions.
- Social Skills Workshops: Participate in workshops or courses that focus on improving interpersonal skills and confidence in social settings.
- Therapeutic Support: Seek therapy or counseling to address any underlying issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, or relationship challenges.
- Community Engagement: Engage in community activities and groups that promote face-to-face interactions and foster a sense of belonging.
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